Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Cavalcade Of Cold Calls

Whilst I'm on the subject of lost time, I think I'd be amiss not to write a quick post about the absolute avalanche of telemarketting calls I have been receiving over the past week.

Without any word of a lie, there have been instances where they have been coming in back to back they're that frequent! The worst part is, I know why.. It's because I'm polite.

Going back a week or so I received a cold call from a company conducting a survey trying to gauge what the average household looks like.. Or so they said. Not being born yesterday, I was skeptical; but being polite I took on board that we all have jobs to do, and this was there's.

I couldn't see as they could do a lot of damage with the information they were asking for (your brand of TV, your brand of washing machine etc), and it was towards the end of the week; so I figured I'd cut them some slack.. Which it turns out was a little short-sighted given the number of unwanted calls I have subsequently received. Calls I specifically told them I wasn't interested in receiving.

Would I like a call about PPI? No. Would I be interested in a call from Extra Energy? No.. You get the picture.

Have I received a call about PPI? Yes. Have I received a call from Extra Energy? Yes.. Again, you get the picture.

So, when I received yet another call tonight about an accident that I'd been in, in the past two years I decided to play a little game with them. Nothing serious, and nothing sinister. Just something keeping cold-callers on their toes, and making them go off script. Nothing like a little mischief.

The conversation went a little something like this..

Them: Hello, is that Mr Thomas Grimshaw?
Me: Who's calling please?
Them: My name's so and so, I'm calling from blah blah blah with regards to the road traffic accident that you've had within the past two years.
Me: Okay. Tell Me more.
Them: Sorry?
Me: About the accident I was in.
Them: I never said you were in an accident.
Me: You just did! Tell me more about the accident.
Them: No, our system indicates that you've been in an accident in the past two years.
Me: Where have you got this information?
Them: From your insurer.
Me: Which insurer?
Them: From when you renewed your motoring insurance.
Me: You are aware that I don't drive, and don't own a car right?

This was the point where they gave up.. But it was fun whilst it lasted. In just over a minute I had enough pauses out of them to fill a William Shatner monologue, and had taken them so far off of their script that they had to resort to making crap up on the spot; which is never going to work out for you when you're speaking to one of the only people that would possess that information, if anyone did!

The best part (well, other than the sheer joy of the shenanigans)? I wasn't rude. It's easy to curse and blind at nuisance calls like this, but as I have said previously; they are just doing a job. One that I have no doubt they'd sooner not be doing. So I'm not going to go off the deep end at them.. I will however politely dick with them for my own amusement.

It's good training for them, and it's free entertainment for me.

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